Negative moments (week 5)

This week is all about the things we do wrong in a marriage. When we look for ways to bring our partner down instead of build them up is when we create a problem. I was reading in Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage by H. Wallace Goddard, PhD he said,"For most people, marriage is sometimes a refuge from the storm. At other times marriage is the storm where cold squalls and pitching decks test our balance and determination as we seek the promised land of marital harmony." Marriage can be unbalanced when we look for ways to make the other feel bad. Goddard said when we ask questions like,"Why in the world did you do that when you know we decided to do otherwise?" In asking such a question, I am not humbly seeking insight; I am seeking to humiliate my partner. I am acting like a lawyer looking for a conviction. That is not a good way to strengthen a relationship. We sometimes are so concerned about being right in an argument that we fail to be good"

Goddard also said,"Success in marriage is much like the healing at Bethesda (see John 5: 1-15). An invalid waited by the side of the pool with hopes of being healed by the magical waters. But it was Jesus who healed him. It was not the waters of the pool but the Water of Life that cured him. Many of us sit by the pool of the world's wisdom hoping to have our marriages healed. But it is Jesus only, Him and His truths-that transforms our marriages from crippled relationships to walking, working, dancing partnerships."